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“To be or not to be?"
I am sure most recognize this famous line from Shakespeare. We have lines from movies and stage productions that sit with us. Another I remember so well is the line from a favourite and familiar movie, (I just realized I quoted it last week too!) The scene goes like this:
“Fraulien, I wonder, just curious, have my children been climbing trees today?”
“Yes, Captain.”
“And where,” (he holds up a piece of cloth), “did they get these?”
“Play clothes, I made them from the drapes in my room.”
“You mean to tell me my children have been traipsing around Salzburg in nothing but some old drapes!” (Throwing down the cloth).
It escalates to the point of the woman yelling, “I’m not finished yet!”
He responds, “Oh yes you are, Captain!” He corrects himself, continuing, “Fraulien, you will pack your things this instant and return to the Abby..."
If you haven't guessed yet, this is a snippet from The Sound of Music.
While you may not know it verbatim, as I do, I am sure it is familiar. For most, all one needs to do is to break into “Do-a deer, a female deer,” or “Climb Every Mountain” to know the film. I can review this movie, in its entirety, in my mind’s eye.
Last night I went to a live musical theatre production in Midland, a well-scripted and detail-directed, two-person performance, a “two-hander” as known in theatre jargon.
It was the story of two people, who independently through the 90 minutes, tell the story of the last five years of their lives from each person’s perspective. The female lead is a young woman who my daughter always sang against year after year in the local music festival. As I recall each year, she would stand, open her mouth, sing, then quickly stop, ask the adjudicator if she could get water, only to return and then invariably take first place. Her voice is still strong, clear, and rich.
Live theatre is such an ephemeral experience. In its fleeting nature, live theatre is there one moment and gone the next only to be captured in our memories. Each night’s performance is different from the last and sets the stage for the next. Each day of living life between curtain times changes the actor forever. Live theatre can only be put back together in your mind.
The Sound of Music has a 40th Anniversary edition with added features and memories from all the cast. That is how I know Christopher Plummer made a mistake when he called Julie Andrews “Captain” in that scene. In his brilliance, he stopped and corrected himself and carried on. That error showed us, the audience, the crack in his character’s armour and was edited in due to its effectiveness. Had that been live theatre, he would have had to consciously change the script every night after that moment. With recording, it was captured, not lost to the fleeting nature of the live stage.
The show we saw last night is one of 10 performances. Each one is different and each one is unique. Even recording of these shows loses something in the wake of capture. Like life, live theatre is meant to be witnessed, watched, and then let go. Like life, our memories are what keeps the past alive and, in our hearts, and like life, it is up to us to remember the greatness or the sadness, the anger or the joy, the blessings or the curses. We saw some areas where we might have changed something, as the director, however, to dwell on those moments does injustice to the overall beauty of the whole. Like life when we dwell on the flaws, there is much lost.
Life is a staged performance. Sometimes we are actors on the main stage and sometimes we are observing from the audience. We are all the leading role in our own show and, therefore, must remember there are many headlining performances going on around us every minute of every day. When these shows try to play out on the same stage at the same time, chaos can erupt and worlds collide. Most of life is a stage show like last night and depends on memory replay. There are times when the recorded version, like The Sound of Music, is hauled out to prove a point. Pulled from a dusty shelf, as proof of one memory being better than the other. Used to shoot from the hip of righteousness the bullet of death to claim victory. Then what? Dr. Phil asks would you rather be right or happy? Proving the perceived imperfection of someone’s memory does not always solve the challenge, it just breaks rapport and clouds relationships.
I have 10 years of theatre experience, having performed in 11 shows total. Just last night as my daughter recalled from memory a couple of the first two, when I was green and she was young, and we had a discussion about location and timing. I believe I am right, and she accepted my recall, however, should she have rebutted, why would it matter? Our memories are our own, we own and claim them, and based on where we were at the time, our filters gave way to what we kept of those times.
In hose 10 years, I learned so much about myself playing characters both on and off the stage. I integrated that learning into my life and some days I cannot say when I am in character and when I am not. Each day it is up to me to put on a show that is loving, caring and kind. As the lead actor, I choose what people will see by reading the script of my heart. Should I have difficulty with that script, it is my responsibility to re-write it with the help of others.
As you mess up lines in your script, may you come to realize with grace and compassion, for both yourself and others, you can take the initiative to right the wrongs. Or maybe like Christopher Plummer, your mistake will enhance your character and show the cracks in your resolve. If you recall, in The Sound of Music, after he stormed off Maria came in and heard him singing with the children. She headed upstairs to pack, and he stopped her saying, “I was wrong! You are right, I don’t know my children. Please stay.”
Where do you need to say the same line?
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
