“Never let your attentiveness to what you are in the process of manifesting be sidetracked by external pressures of any kind. Neville says, ‘All progress, all fulfillment of desire, depend upon the control and concentration of your attention.’” Dr. Wayne Dyer – Wishes Fulfilled Pg. 116
Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics always said, “we fail forward to success”, meaning without feeling the results of our action, there is no movement in life. The most important part of an action-filled life is our view of it. I choose to eradicate the word “failure” from my action-filled life and it has served me well.
On Saturday I completed the task I set for myself of covering 62 km of physical activity in one day and I did it! Actually, I cover 62 km on most days in various ways. This task, however, was set to physically cover this distance under my own steam of a triathlon (three athletic events) or a duathlon (two athletic disciplines).
I was up at 6 a.m. to catch the cool part of the day. I travelled on foot at 9 km/h, 7.46 km from home to where my bike lives, then cycled 50 km through our beautiful Holland Marsh. I returned to store my bike away, had some lunch, and then traveled on foot back home 5.06 km for a total of 62.5 km. In this solo action, I felt strong, accomplished, and free.
This adventure took me about five hours to complete. Now before you jump up and down, know that there have been some who have completed full Ironmans in eight hours, which includes a four km swim, 180 km bike, and a 42 km marathon, so there is room for improvement on my speed.
That said, I am so happy as I accomplished what I set out to do and enjoyed what I deemed a success. Many people had kind things to say and while the support was paramount to keeping me focused, it was up to me whether this could be seen as a success or not.
What if I had set out to complete the task in four hours and it took me five hours? Does that change the outcome? Success and acts of completion or perceived failure are all measured by us. While my “du” was completed and successful, it only brought me to 180 km of the 312 km goal for the month, so am I successful or not? Has the lack of meeting one goal negated or lessened the success of the other?
I have decided each day will be a success before I even get out of bed. When we compare or contrast our lives against others, all that will be accomplished is separation. We separate ourselves from the happiness in our lives when we begin to measure our success and perceived failures against the accomplishments of others. Getting out of bed each day is a success that can be celebrated, as well as having gas in the car, having a car, food to choose from, a book to read, a pen to write with, a friend to text, a window to look out of, a cheek to kiss, a hand to shake and most of all a smile to share. When we choose, any and all of these can make a day successful.
There are no failures, only results. When you swing a club and hit a golf ball and it rolls off the tee over the hill, you get results, nothing more, nothing less. Change the swing and change the results! If you get mad and throw the club into the pond that is on you for measuring the results as frustrations.
When we support our children for “trying” we are encouraging them to get results and what they do with the results is key to their learning. We give credit for the wrong piece of this puzzle. Credit is due when one learns from the results and does it again but better. Credit is not only given for the attempt because then we fall short. Beyond that, how is anyone measured? Are we measured against ourselves or others? Getting a “B” is just as good as getting an “A” because it is a result that can be measured against for our own gain. Whether a “B” is good enough is where we go awry. Good enough for who?
Today, as I put pen to paper and think about the 70 km I must cover over the next three days to meet my goal of last year, I do so with a happy heart. As I look back at the sleepless night I spent tossing and turning, I eat my own words asking, ‘what was I worried about?’ and pat myself on the back for doing anything. I contemplate with happiness that I even consider taking on any of these tasks I set for myself. Running, hiking, cycling, and swimming make me happy, and I need not measure up to anyone else in doing them. Last year I got within seven km of my 250 km goal and turned my ankle helping a neighbour. The last seven km missed the mark and were completed in the first week of September, however, a good friend did seven km to meet the goal. I was grateful.
We never know what is on our path in life. A turned ankle, a sick child, a flat tire, a ruptured Achilles’, an aging parent, the job loss, the breakdown of a car... anything that gets in the way of our plans. It is how we measure ourselves that will matter in the end. The act of completion, the success, and perceived failure comes from your own heart and cannot toy with our lives unless we let them. Choose to measure well, carefully, and with joy.
Cynthia Breadner is a grief specialist and bereavement counsellor, a soul care worker and offers specialized care in Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy with special attention as a cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and trauma incident resolution facilitator. She volunteers at hospice, works as a LTC chaplain and is a death doula, assisting with end-of-life care for client and family. She is the mother part of the #DanCynAdventures duo and practices fitness, health and wellness. She is available remotely by safe and secure video connections, if you have any questions contact her today! [email protected] breakingstibah.com
